I’ll just say it. We are ALL going for the Gold. Every woman out there has daydreams of the perfect man – The One. We want the treasure – that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Stick with me on this one. Gold Diggers have a really bad reputation. We use it as an insult to other women solely based on physical appearance (a really good looking woman with an average or not so attractive man) and age (a very young woman with a very old man). We use it to tear each other down. But in doing so, you push away your chances of being with a man that will spoil you, because you’re sending negativity towards something you deeply desire – A man that will spoil you!
From today, my lovely! I don’t want you to be jealous of other women. This diminishes every woman’s worth. You don’t need to feel bad about wanting the best for yourself. It’s crazy to think you would want anything less.
Now, many of us believe a typical “Gold Digger” just has a relationship and marries for money. But do you really think every woman just marries for love and nothing else? The foundation of marriage was a financial contract between families. Back in the day, it was a known part of the courtship process. The bride’s family needed to know the man their daughter was marrying could provide for her needs and their assumed future family. And, since the man was taking on the responsibility for his wife, the wife’s family would pay a dowry to represent the wife’s value and worth. Marriage is a contract between two people with a certain level of expectation of “Give and Receive”!
So saying Gold Diggers are the only ones that have a relationship based on money simply isn’t true. If money wasn’t important in a relationship, we wouldn’t have such a high divorce rate! The top reasons for Splitsville are sex and money. This is why students in my Love Goddess Mastery program learn to own their worth, have a prosperity mindset and the sexual skills to blow their man’s mind.
Assuming that only the chosen few are Gold Diggers is delusional. So I’ll let you in on this juicy little secret: YOU are a “Goal Digger”! In our society, we’ve been trained that one way is considered respectable (marry a good man…what exactly does that mean?) and the other is considered unsavory (marry a wealthy man). However, the respectable way and the unsavory way are going after the same thing. The respectable way is more covert and the unsavory way is very overt…that’s the difference!
I want you to use this new knowledge to empower yourself. Understanding that your ambitions and desires are critical to your happiness.
Here’s the Urban Dictionary definition of a Goal Digger, “a person who desires wealth in all areas of life. Seeks the secrets of the millionaire mind. Has the smarts, optimism, integrity, and passion to do it themselves.
So what’s so bad about being a Goal Digger now? I want to help you embrace your inner Goal Digger so you can resonate on the same level as a high-quality man.
This is how you know if you’re a “Goal Digger”!
Level Up: When your family says to “marry up”, so you can do better, that’s what Goal Diggers do.
No one wants to see their child scraping by. Your parents want you to succeed and be happy. Obviously, someone with ambition is a perfect match for Mama and Daddy’s ambitious child, so this is what your parents probably encouraged. Would your mom ever tell you to marry the first low-life you meet who doesn’t have a pot to piss in? Hell…NO!
Fighting about money and living paycheck to paycheck is no one’s dream life. I love how open and authentic Jenna Kutcher’s blog Goal Digger is about mutually beneficial relationships where both partners are getting exactly what they want. You each have individual and joint goals in life. No manipulation needed.
As a Goal Digger, it’s about being with a man who has aspirations in life, who gets off his ass and does something about it. Who doesn’t blame others for his success or failure, he’s flying the plane in his life and he wants you as his co-pilot. This is why the amazing women in my Love Goddess Mastery Program learn to exude amazing confidence, charisma and seduction which brings revolutionary change in their lives. If any of this is touching you, you have the opportunity to join these women who have decided to own their “goal digging worth”.
Being a Goal Digger is knowing, that with your joint efforts, you will achieve more together. And being a Goal Digger means the man in your life is adding value and happiness versus being a user and moocher draining your bank account. You’re worth too much to bother with a man that would give much less.
Always look to build relationships with men who are at your level or above. If you have a lack mentality, work to transform it to an abundance mindset. If you feel unworthy, heal your fears so you feel worthy. If you lack the courage to go after your dreams, work to believe in yourself, so you can start to play big in life.
Abundance in goals, and the ability to pursue them with your man, is the mindset of a Goal Digger which is also the mindset of a Vixen.
Spoiler Alert: When women say they want to be in a relationship with a man who will spoil them and be a good provider for the family, that’s what Goal Diggers want.
Be honest with yourself. You really want someone who will treat you like a queen. Why? Because relationships are reciprocal. In relationships, when you give, you expect to receive the same effort back. This isn’t being tit-for-tat. This is the reciprocal nature of the Universe and the Law of Attraction (for example; Eye for an eye, Reap what you sow, Do unto others as others do unto you). How long would you be happy if you were the one putting in all the effort in a relationship, showing your man how much you love him, only to be ignored? I want you to be honest with yourself versus falling for what’s politically correct.
You can’t build a solid relationship if the giving and receiving isn’t balanced.
What you each give and receive can be different, since you’re different people, but what you give and what you receive should be pleasing on both ends. A Gold Digger gives her beauty and time, and she receives pampering in return. A Goal Digger gives her high-value woman Vixen qualities and she receives a relationship with a high-quality man.
Spoiling your man isn’t much fun if you aren’t getting anything back. This leaves you exhausted, resentful, bitter and unhappy. You have to know that you deserve the best!
The Checklist: Women have certain criteria they want in a man. This is no different than what a Gold Digger does.
Your family likely groomed you (or at least hinted at) what type of man you want in your life. Even if you didn’t agree with all their ideas, you still want them to feel good about the life you and your man are creating together.
That list of requirements probably goes something like: He should be…educated (preferably college educated), well-paying job, ambitious, nice car, big home, etc. Does it ever include negative attributes? Did your parent(s) say, he should be a high school dropout, have a menial job and financial struggle is ok, no ambition, a clunker for a car…it’s all good. Did your parents encourage you shack up with that type of man? I sure hope they didn’t.
When you look at it in black and white, these positive requirements look like what a Gold Digger wants, right?
If you want to be a Vixen who attracts men dying to spoil her, you have to think in terms of a “Goal Digger” versus a “Gold Digger.” BE proud to claim this, because that’s when you also claim your worth since you deserve the very best. You want achievement. A solid foundation. You don’t want to pick someone who doesn’t deserve the Queen you are.
And I don’t think that’s unreasonable for you!
From this moment forward, I want you to stop being jealous of the women you secretly want to be. That’s just using the Law of Attraction against yourself. Instead, when you see or know of a woman that’s being pampered by her man, silently congratulate her and say to yourself (with a smile), “I know I can have that too.” You don’t have to settle for less. You don’t have to look for someone who isn’t succeeding just because you feel guilty about setting your sights on someone successful. You can be a Goal Digger so OWN IT!
Have the courage, confidence, and honesty to go after what you want. This is what my client Jane did.
This is what a good relationship is all about. You look for what you want. You don’t settle for less. In the end, you will be happier for it!