Shifting from Asking for Needs to Inspiring Dreams
Stacey Murphy, Relationship & Life Design Coach shares her journey of shifting from asking for her needs to be met TO inspiring her dreams and desires to become a reality. She provides three steps for listeners to follow, that will help you shift your brain. By doing so, listeners can shift their mindset and see positive changes in their lives taking them from survival mode to THRIVING MODE!


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PODCAST: Stop Asking For Your Needs to be Met

0:14 – Stacey Murphy, Relationship/Life Design Coach

Well, hello beautiful ones, it’s Stacey here, the head vixen of the Vixen Academy, and I want to welcome you to my podcast because Vixen Academy is your place for feminine leadership training. But the sassy and provocative way through the divine art of seduction and charisma from the bedroom to the boardroom, feminine leadership training does not have to be boring at all, and here at Vixen Academy, it surely is not. So, I wanted to do this special broadcast or podcast. I should say I’ve been wanting to do it for a while because it is a huge lesson that I learned in my digital nomad journey that was instrumental to me manifesting and having my dream become a reality.

0:59 – Stacey Murphy, Relationship/Life Design Coach

Now, if this is your 1st time with me and you are listening to this podcast on YouTube, I invite you to hit the subscribe button as well as like, so you can know when I’m producing more of these podcasts. If you are listening to this on my website, I invite you to leave a comment below about how, what my musing and my sharing with you, and what your records are that it may hit with you. So, as I was saying in my Digital Nomad journey, this is really what came to me if you want your dream to be a reality, then you have to stop.

1:35 – Stop asking for your needs to be met. I know for many of you, if you’ve been in my community for a while, you’re like, well, wait a minute, Stacey, you’ve been teaching us how to ask for our needs to be met. What do you mean we now have to stop asking for our needs to be met? And yes, that is correct. You heard me teach that. You’ve heard me say that for so many years, but after my digital Norma journey of 18 months, you won’t be hearing me say that moving forward. And here is why, because one of the things that my nomad journey showed me was the reality of our needs getting met.

2:21 – At times it was very hard for me to see it. And then after really seeing it and really feeling it, I had to acknowledge how, you know, I’ve been literally asking for my needs to be met is actually advocating for just survival, advocating for remaining small. Oh yes, have I manifested things in my life? Oh, my goodness, yes, I have, but could I have manifested those things with a little bit more ease and grace? Oh heck, yeah, yes, yes, yes, I could have. And this is the, this is the crux of what this podcast is about.

3:03 – So when I was on my digital nomad journey, after being in one steady place for a couple of months, for at least a year after that, I bounced around from different houses, different setups, east coast, west coast, mountain time, you know, I even sometimes didn’t know what time zone I was in. So, I had to do a lot of shifting, changing, and adjusting, but it wasn’t until. How would I say this? It wasn’t until for about five, or six weeks that on a daily basis. I was actually seeing and feeling the energy of the homeless population of men and women who are unhoused.

3:54 –

I feel fortunate I didn’t see any children. I didn’t see any, homeless teenagers because they are out there as well, right? That would have been even more heart-wrenching for me, especially being a mom. But what happens is when on a daily basis for about five, or six weeks, every single day I was seeing a homeless person and feeling their hopelessness, feeling their despair on a deep level. It was very heart-wrenching for me. And that’s when it clicked with me that these people are literally wanting their NEEDS to be met. I’m gonna review the hierarchy of needs, at least the very 1st four to illustrate this point.

4:42 – So if you’re not familiar with those, you’ll get familiar today and then here is where you will actually see how you may have been advocating for your own survival versus thriving. And that is why when I stopped asking for my needs to be met and started doing something instead, which I’ll share with you. That is when it fast-tracked my dream into reality, and hopefully the same can be done for you, all right. I’m going to review them with you right now, what the hierarchy of needs really is.

5:15 –  

I’m going through the 1st four all right. So, with the hierarchy of needs, the 1st one is FOOD. Do you have food that is available to you? Not, Do you like the food that you have available to you? But do you have (a reliable) food source that’s available to you or do you have to rummage through a garbage can? In order to get someone else’s thrown-away trash find some food for you to eat. So, I want you to check that off. Do you have food that you can eat? And I will say that if you are listening to this recording, yes, you do have food on some level that you can eat.

5:50 –

The next thing is water. Do you have water to drink? Not if it’s distilled water, spring water, or bottled water, But, do you have water that you can drink? Or, do you have to catch some rainwater in a cup, or even worse yet, have to go where the water runoff is and try to drink from there just to quench your thirst. So, if you have water you can drink, check that off all right. The 3rd thing is do you have shelter? Remember these are all hierarchy of needs, okay, so the next is shelter.

6:36 –

Do you have some type of shelter over you, whether it is a house or a bus? Even a car, can be shelter, right? Do you have someplace where you know your head is going to rest for that night? Or, is your shelter just some street corner? Someone’s leftover trash may be a pillow for your head. Do you have a place in your shelter where you can go to the bathroom?  Growing up in New York, I had to pass many homeless, men and women who were housing challenged every single day.

7:25 –

But I think growing up in New York, I just blocked it out because I saw it every day. I just blocked it out so I could just keep on, keeping on with my life. At this juncture in my life, I could not shut it out, and for the 1st time in my life, I literally saw grown adults taking poops in the street in broad daylight because they had no place else to go to the bathroom.  Okay, so do you even have a toilet, even if it’s a composting toilet that you can sit your butt on so you can go to the bathroom? In your own privacy?

8:05 –  

Even an outhouse has some kind of privacy. What I saw was taking an outhouse to a whole new level. Okay, so number three was shelter.  Number four is clothing. Do you have clothes on your back? I’m not talking about as a designer, this or whatever, but do you have clothes, basic clothes on your back and hopefully they can be clean clothes that you have on your back. When it comes to the hierarchy of needs, those are the top four – food, water, shelter, clothing.

8:40 –

So, if you’ve been asking for your needs to be met, what you’ve been doing is asking for, and advocating for, just your survival. Just like these homeless people, they want food, water, shelter, and clothing, they don’t have that. And I will say this, after witnessing what I did, I feel homelessness is what actually made half of them go mentally crazy.  That’s what they had to do to be able to survive the circumstances they found themselves in.  I’m not judging how they got themselves into that situation because the pandemic was a precursor to get a lot of people into that situation.

9:21 –

People complain about, oh my god, they’re trashy and they’re filthy.  But guess what, after seeing that every single day, this is what came to me. Why should they care if they throw some trash on your block when they feel they’ve been discarded like trash by society? So why should they care? Why should they care, right? And so, these are the things for like five, six weeks, that put this point into clear focus. At that point, I stopped asking for my needs to be met.

10:04 –  

I know what you want is your desires and your dreams to be met. That is what you truly want. You go after your desires and your dreams instead. You are taking inspired action that fills your body, mind, and your heart with passion, desire, and joy, and you will joyfully go after those things with an open heart, with zest, and even those bumps that you have to experience to get to that dream. They will be worthwhile because when your dreams are being met, that is when you are thriving and you’re no longer surviving.

10:45 –

This is why, if you want your dream to be a reality, stop from this day forward asking for your needs to be met, and instead ask for and take inspired action that allows your desires and your dreams to be met so that you can thrive. This is when you start to play BIG in life. And so, seeing this spurred on a different type of advocacy in my life.  You know, my daughter, in Florida from middle school until going into college, volunteered at the homeless shelter. For all those years.

11:24 –

That was her advocacy. I found out and discovered mine is spreading the message of attainable housing and affordable housing. This is part of what the Tiny Vixen is here to do, is to show how living tiny can actually allow you to live big, how you can live with luxury for less, and how you can allow, through Mystic Design, to use your home as a 3D vision board to produce love, passion, and prosperity in your life.

12:06 –

It spurred on that advocacy to really thrive and go after things. When I started to really focus on just the joy of my dream and the joy of my desires, it fast-tracked things.  It shifted the stall I was experiencing with my 1st builder, who I fired, to then go with my 2nd builder and boom things moved at lightning speed.

Bam, my dream became a reality!  It brings me joy that this is my 1st podcast, in my new space, in the Tiny Vixen, in my Sanctuary.

12:53 –

So, I want you to do these three things so you can start to shift your mindset from asking for your needs to be met to inspiring your dreams and your desires to be met and be a reality.  Here’s the 1st thing that I want you to do. The 1st thing I want you to do is to humble yourself and spend a day observing (without judgment) those who are unhoused. Unfortunately, the place that you’re gonna see this the most, is a downtown area.

13:39 –

You know, out in the suburbs or in the country, you’re going to see unhoused or homeless people, because they exist there too, but in a city, due to the massive amounts of people, you will see significantly more. And so that’s what I want you to do. I want your senses to be inundated with the visuals and I want you to observe without judgment what these people have to do just to get their needs met.

Okay, then the 2nd thing I want you to do, with an open heart, and on a daily basis; I want you to show genuine appreciation for what you do have and to acknowledge that your needs are being met because when you have gratitude and you acknowledge that your needs are being met, the universe will give you more of that.

14:35 –

Your survival will always be taken care of so you don’t have to worry about that because you are appreciating what you have right now, so the universe will continue doing that for you. From that place of gratitude, you now are able to step into number three, the final piece of this, which is, by being relaxed, knowing that your needs are being met this frees up your mind (and your heart) from survival mode to thriving. Now you can focus on your dreams and the empowered action you need to take in order for them to become a reality.

15:20 – When you are doing these three things, observing those in true need (survival), and being appreciative and grateful that your needs are being met, which then leads to three freeing your mind to focus on your dreams. When you do that, I want you to see what shifts occur in your life, and what synchronicities come up in your life. I want you to observe if things seem a little bit easier for you and if some of the sabotage has gone away.

16:04 –

 I want you to take those steps. If you enjoy this wisdom and musing from Stacey and this podcast, I want you to go ahead. If you are on YouTube, go ahead and like and subscribe below share a comment below, and share this channel with your friends. And if you’re listening to this on my website, go ahead and share a comment of, you know, just tell me, what did this spur within you? What shifted within you so you can start asking for your desires, and your dreams, to be met so they can become a reality.

16:46 – And with that everyone we are complete and Namaste.

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