At the beginning of the year, like you, I’m thinking about what I want to experience differently in the new year. The people, places, and things I want to drop out of my life like a bad habit. Then the people, places, and experiences I want to manifest.
I’ve seriously been in upgrade mode. Upgrading my smartphone, upgrading my laptop and getting a NeatDesk. When we usually think of an upgrade, many times it’s about things, but there are many more areas in our lives that can use an upgrade.
Think about it, when you drop toxic friends for healthier connections, this is an upgrade. When you’re working in a more rewarding career or business, this is an upgrade. And, having the courage to step into a more fulfilling relationship is a MAJOR upgrade! Then why is it easier to upgrade “things”, but we resist, fight and procrastinate upgrading the areas in our life that would bring us even more lasting satisfaction? This resistance is fear. It’s the itty bitty shitty committee that keeps us paralyzed from embracing the possibility of a joyful relationship or a new man in our life.
In 2017, I heard all types of excuses people fighting to remain STUCK, how sad is that?
As humans, even if something isn’t working and we’re as miserable as heck, we torture ourselves by staying because it’s “familiar”.
When it comes to love, I’ve seen many give up. There were times in my life, I felt the same exact way. I wanted to through up my hands, resigned in wondering if I would ever be in a happy relationship. I’ve been there done that.
Not long ago, not only did I upgrade my phone and printer, I upgraded my relationship by manifesting a second partner in my life. This only happened after I finally got serious about wanting a second partner in my world. I had to get honest with myself. I asked myself, I know I want this, so why am I dragging my feet and acting as if it’s no big deal, when deep inside, it was a BIG DEAL to my heart.
When you’re honest with yourself, you know in your heart when it’s time to move on from a relationship that isn’t filling you with juicy goodness. You also know when you haven’t been giving your relationship(s) the proper effort and this is why you’re experiencing a less than satisfying relationship.
When your self-worth and self-confidence are steeped in genuine self-love, you stop the madness and ditch the relationship to nowhere. Or, you fully commit to the one you have. This allows you to embrace new possibilities for yourself because you’re worth it.
You welcome the opportunity of new love versus fear it.
As a coach, I practice what I preach. Whenever I wanted to upgrade a relationship, I would employ this process I’ve perfected over the past 15 years.
Apply this powerful process to your life, so you can joyfully manifest what you want:
Step 1: Take a Personal Inventory (Bust the Breakup Blues). Whenever there’s discontent in a relationship, it’s not always about the other person. Take a personal inventory of your role in the success (and challenges) in the relationship. Great things happened in the relationship because of you as well as some of its challenges. There’s no such thing as a “failure”. Even in dark times, there’s wisdom to gain. When you can honestly see the wisdom and blessings in a relationship, that’s taking its final bow versus harping on the pain, you can apply this learning to the success of your next relationship. Don’t allow yourself to be paralyzed by doubt and fear, but energized by possibility and hope.
Step 2: Stay Focused on What You Want (Love Mojo). Whether you’re in a relationship or not, it’s important to always stay in alignment with what you want vs what you don’t want. The thoughts you constantly bounce around in your mind, good or bad, is what you bring into your reality – it’s called “self-fulfilling prophecy”. It’s in your best interest to focus your mind on what you want in a man and relationship. I’m not talking about wishful thinking or positive affirmations, but a deep inner knowing of your true yearning.
Step 3: Boldly State Your Intention to the Universe (Quality Man Blueprint). When you know what you want, then you have to muster the courage to boldly state your intention. When I take my clients through this extensive process of specifying and then claiming what they want in a relationship, it’s amazing how the little demons come out to spoil the party. I hear them say, “I thought I worked through this feeling of doubt.” But when I challenge them to dig deep and say “Yes” to their desire, we uncover what’s lurking in the shadows. I help them root it out, so they know they’re worth it.
Step 4: Have Fun (Rock Your WOW Factor).For the love of all that is holy remember to have fun. Sometimes men are disparagingly referred to as “dogs”, but I will tell you, men can sniff out desperation a mile away. Whether you want to improve the relationship you’re in or upgrade to a new one, when you have fun and freely play with this intoxicating energy, it has the power to deliver your desire in lightning speed. This is why I refer to dating as a “game”. It’s not to trivialize it. It’s to inject fun and levity. The fun element takes the desperation energy out of the equation.