The 1960s saw the emergence of many changes for women – the feminist movement, civil rights, control of our bodies – a revolution is born. I was born in the 60s so it was a good decade…LOL!
Major strides have been won, but there was also a sudden death that has gone virtually unnoticed. This death has caused major turmoil in the lives of women leading to low self-confidence, low self-esteem, and low self-worth. It was the end of mothers teaching their daughters ‘The Ways of Being a Feminine Women’ and the ‘Ways of Men’.
From the ripe age of 10, my grandmother (who was from Central America) enrolled me in her private, home-grown version of charm school. In Latin culture, this is serious business — NO JOKE. Every day she would place a heavy encyclopedia on my head. The sucker was at least 7 pounds. Think of the women in the Caribbean and Africa balancing a basket, pot or bucket on their head. That was me, but with a heavy book. I walked back and forth in our New York City apartment for 30 minutes every day doing my best to balance the book with grace.
I’d complain to my grandmother asking ‘Why do I have to do this?’ She’d ignore my whining and simply say…
‘If you want to be noticed by a man walking like a boy won’t do it. If you want to attract the best possible catch, you have to be the best for yourself. And, it’s my responsibility to raise you into a lady with class. Stop talking and practice. Women talk too much, it’ll get you in trouble.’
She’d continue to say…
“Being feminine is beautiful. The way you walk, talk and do your hair. It shows the strength and gentleness of a woman. Having brains without grace is a waste. Having brains with grace is a woman’s power. That’s what you need if you want to get a good man. Now stop talking and practice.”
I first did my practice barefoot, then with flat shoes and in my teens with heels. I got my first pair of heels before I was 13. This required proper posture, balance and poise, all the things my grandmother said ‘a young girl needs to demonstrate along with book smarts’.
My grandmother did what mother’s throughout time had done, she taught me –
How to be a lady, the feminine arts and how to be attractive.
What type of feminine behavior would attract specific types of men
How to be an intelligent, educated and independent woman.
How to be “in love being a woman”. She would say, “Women are naturally smart, sexy and alluring, all the qualities needed to attract a man.”
What my grandmother was alluding to was seduction and flirting. This is coming from a woman who worked with ALL MEN!
She taught me that flirting is natural. It instills confidence and allows you to have a playful attitude about life. The main objective of flirting is to make someone feel good. First starting with YOU. And flirting is the foundation of seduction. And men desire to be seduced.
I resisted her teaching for the longest time. I’d say to her and think to myself, “This is so outdated. We live in a new time, a new generation, and women don’t need to do this in order to get a man.”
Was I wrong!
I now take my grandmother’s etiquette training on a whole new level and teach women in my Love Goddess Mastery Program to once again restore the feminine arts to its rightful glory.
What used to come naturally to us, we now struggle within our modern world.
Flirting is exciting, it feels good, it’s playful and enticing, and it’s necessary to both attract and keep your man.
Flirting is your tool to feel sexy, to attract a lover as well as keep a relationship fun and spontaneous. It’s essential whether you’re single or in a relationship. You can flirt any time, any place, anywhere and with anyone.
My grandmother taught me different ways to garner a man’s attention. I’ve come to see them as different flirting styles which appeal to different men.
So what’s your flirting style?
I’ve identified 3 flirting styles – they are the Loving Flirt, Vixen Flirt, and Sex Kitten Flirt. Let’s take a look at how you can incorporate them into your life and the type of man it mesmerizes.
The Loving Flirt: There’s an element of innocence and tenderness in this flirting style. This flirting style leads with your smile, your femininity, your girlish charm and your delicate mannerisms.
Man Charm: The Nice Guy who has a tendency to be more conservative and understated. He wants a ‘Good Girl’, but prays she’s good in bed.
The Vixen Flirt: This flirting style is more direct with an element of fiery passion. This flirting style leads with your personality, your dazzling sensuality, your womanly charm and your saucy mannerisms.
Man Charm: The Alpha Male who has a tendency to be a centrist with both conservative and liberal values who is attracted to an uninhibited classy woman.
The Sex Kitten Flirt: A Femme Fatale who turns up the heat by overtly demonstrating her sexual prowess. This flirting style leads with your sexual prowess, your daring femininity, your erotic charm and your bold mannerisms.
Man Charm: The Contemporary Male who has a tendency toward more open viewpoints and is very attracted to strong women with a unique essence that borders on daring.