Darling, did you know you can custom design your relationship?
In the United States, fast-food chain Burger King built an empire on telling customers they can “have it your way”. If we can have a designer hamburger, we can surely have a designer relationship…your way.
I know I’m not alone when I say, for most of my life, I followed what others told me a good relationship was “supposed to be”.
You know the standard relationship formula…
1) Find a dependable responsible man, 2) Get married, 3) Buy a house, 4) Have children – 2 is ideal, and 5) Raise a family.
Sweetie, I’ve been there and I’ve done that. Since I’m part of the 50% Divorce Club, this formula didn’t produce a happily ever after for us. After my divorce, I learned there are a plethora of “relationship dynamics” that exist. This goes beyond the monogamy vs open relationship debate. Even within monogamy, there’s plenty of room to “have it your way”.
For example, just the other day, I contemplated if I could ever live with someone again (ie. my partner). I’ve said for the past 5 years that I could only live with my partner part-time. But I’ve recently started to challenge myself on that. What does part-time look like?
It can look like this:
Live 2 weeks with my partner and 2 weeks at my place, OR
Live full-time with my partner yet have my own bedroom, OR
Live full-time with my partner yet stay at an AirB&B for one week a month
You’re only limited by what your mind can think of.
Some of you may be wondering, WHY don’t I want to live with any partner full-time. Good question. I have two reasons – I want my own sacred space, my “She-Shed”. And since I’m empathic, I absorb my partner’s emotions and feelings which drives me bonkers. Since I’m in the process of learning how not to do that, until then, part-time living it is. This doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else, just the 2 people involved.
Here are the steps you can take to design a relationship that works for you:
Step 1: Take an inventory of past relationship successes? What were the common elements?
Step 2: Determine what made those connections special and work for you?
Step 3: If “YES” was the only answer you received, what would your ideal relationship set-up look like?