Have you ever wondered and asked yourself, “Is he really that into me?” It’s that uncertain feeling your body, mind and heart do – these crazy cart wheels that leave you dumb-founded.
It can suck, no matter your age or level of self-assuredness! It can really cause, even the most confident Vixens among us, to have a momentary pang of insecurity. You’re thinking to yourself, “We had this hot date, which led to more hot dates and you’re feeling the yummy bits in your body wanting more.” Then your mind goes into overdrive wondering “Does he or doesn’t he…like me…want to see me more…is he the one?…will this lead to marriage and the baby carriage?”
I’ve gone through the same cray-cray behavior until one day, I knew for sure if a man was hooked on my juicy love, or not. You see, men rate women all the time. If you think they don’t, you’re in fantasy land. So now it’s time for you to rate your man! That way, you’ll know if he’s Mr. Right Now, Mr. Good & Plenty, Mr. Slick Willy, Mr. Diamond in the Ruff or hot damn…your very own version of Mr. McDreamy. Spend some time rating the performance (all pun intended) of the men in your life. Do you get treated like a Queen or a Doormat? Then decide whether to kick him to the curb or give him your heart!
Rating #1: Time
A man who makes an effort to spend time with you is demonstrating he’s serious about you. Does your man manage to meet you for dinner even on a night he’s working late? Has he changed his plans around when an event important to you has come up? A man who is seriously interested in a woman will practically walk through fire to see her! Men pursue what they want – no convincing, begging or guilt-tripping needed. He will initiate contact to see you. He will come up with reasons to spend time with you.
Or…are you constantly getting texts postponing plans or, worse, cancellations at the last minute because he’s “too busy?” If you’re getting anything less than that, it’s time to re-evaluate and negate. If he doesn’t have time for you now, he won’t have time for you later.
How did your man rate on time?
Vixen Motto: When a man “puts in the effort”, you can give him your time!
Rating #2: Attention
When you’re spending time with a man, his focus should be on you – not his phone, nor his tablet, not every sexy girl that passes by, not the game on the TV. Also, does he asks you questions to really get to know what makes you tick and feel good? Or, is he always talking about himself and what he wants? Whether it’s your first date, or you’ve been partners in crime for ions, this is a huge red flag. The fire alarm is screaming in your ear, so are you listening? BTW, you shouldn’t be on the phone or tablet either.
If you’re just starting out, you both should be curious and inquisitive as a way of getting to know one another. Find out what your connection points are then have fun playing in the sandbox. When men are having fun, and you’re doing something you both like, you’ll have his attention. On the other hand, if you’ve been playing house for a while, he should still be asking you questions to deepen your bond! Boredom is the death of not only a first date but any long-time soiree that’s lost its luster.
How did your man rate in the attention department?
Vixen Motto: When a man gives you his undivided attention, focus on the here and now. In other words, focus on him…not yesterday or next week!
Rating #3: Love
Many high-quality men demonstrate their love by what they DO for a woman…in other words, how they pamper her and provide for her. This is encoded in a man’s DNA to protect, provide, but also compete for a woman’s love. In fact, in the blockbuster book that covers the five love languages, giving gifts and acts of service are two of them! Now this doesn’t always have to mean diamonds and pearls. Sometimes it’s the way he brings you a cup of coffee without being asked. Or, gives you a massage when he can see you’re really tired. This is how your man shows up for you. The more you appreciate this, two things will happen, he will DO more for you not less AND he will feel your love! On the other hand, if you’re the only one on the giving end, pay attention. A man who only takes and doesn’t give is taking advantage of you, this IS NOT love! What you’re actually doing is buying his love. When your financial usefulness has dried up, he will shack up with the woman he had been seeing on the side.
How did your man rate in the love and romance area?
Vixen Motto: There’s more than one way to say, “I love you”. Appreciate the way your man says “I love you”. In return, you’ll get the deep juicy love you desire.
Rating #4: Sex
A man’s high level of testosterone is what makes it seem as if he always has “sex on the brain.” A confident woman knows this and plays with this powerful energy to both her (and his) delight! A high-quality man will want to make his woman happy in bed – her sensual and sexual needs matter to him. When she’s happy, he’s happy. Men love, and melt in the arms, of a sexually confident woman. He will move mountains for her and take care of her emotional needs – another type of energy exchange. This is because, so many high-quality men experience too many women who are uptight and frigid when it comes to intimacy and sex.
HOWEVER! If sex is the only conversation he seems interested in, or if you’re on the receiving end of one too many late-night booty-calls, without a whole lot of depth or time in between, he’s only interested in your precious pearl! It doesn’t matter if he’s hot, if he’s hung like a horse and/or has money out the wazoo, demote him –NOW because you’re never going to get the ring he’s promised you.
How did your man rate in the sexual area?
Vixen Motto: When a man makes love to your mind, enjoy the fruits of him making love to your body.
Rating #5: Money
When you’re out with a man, does he ask, “Are we going dutch?” Does he complain about the cost of the wine? Or, hesitates when the check arrives? If he does, take note. High-quality men will pay for dates! A man interested in you will spend money on pampering the woman he wants, even when he knows the woman can do it for herself. This is part of a man’s instinctual need to be a good provider (a.k.a. “an Alpha Dog”). Be aware lovelies, not all Alpha men are banging on their chest yelling the Tarzan anthem. Even if they’re on the quiet side (like my guy), this is a major way a man competes for a mate – regardless of the size of his bank account. And, high-quality men will invest in themselves to be the most worthy partners, so they expect the same mentality in the women they date.
So, if he sits there staring at your purse, in the hope your wallet will magically appear, he hasn’t begun to value you. If he’s always hitting you up for money, he’s a moocher and dead weight. He plays on your insecurities, baiting you like a fish, so you can pay your worth to him. You deserve much better!
How did your man rate in the finance and prosperity department?
Vixen Motto: When a man says, “You can get anything you want”, is a man who’s willing to give you the world.
So how did your man, or the men in your life, rate? My hope is that he sailed through with flying colors! But if he didn’t, and neither have your past few men, then you have some work to do. There is a reason you are self-sabotaging and feeling not worthy of a High-Quality Man who “performs well in the ratings.”