My Lovely, as you’re getting to know my blissful world, I’m sure you’ve heard me say… “In order to have the relationship you want, you must first BE that relationship.” Some have wondered what does this mean? Well, I’ll tell you…”you can’t give what you don’t have – you can’t get what you don’t give”. It’s that simple.
The Law of Attraction doesn’t discriminate or judge who’s deserving of love and a relationship; YOU determine that. Have you ever heard yourself saying or thinking?
- All the good men are taken.
- All men are dogs.
- Men will cheat on you.
- Men aren’t attracted to me.
- I only seem to attract men that are needy and insecure.
- I’m with a deadbeat who just mooches off me.
What you’re doing is creating a self-fulfilling prophesy. The constant repetitive thought, of these disempowering beliefs, is pushing away the very thing you want… A good man, a loving man, a committed man, a man that’s worthy of your love!
So I’ll let you in on 3 secrets to finally get the man and keep the man you want AND deserve, because whether you’re in a relationship or not, the principles are still the same…
SECRET #1: FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT!
Oh my goodness, I know this may sound silly, but more often than not, many women I speak with only have a “general” idea of what they want in a man and a relationship. They’re quick to rattle off what they don’t want or what they don’t like. This is fine at first since it can help you clarify its opposite, but the secret is to NOT to stay in the “I don’t want this or that” mentality. There is MORE power in declaring what you want! You do that by focusing on what I call the “Relationship Wheel”, the 7 Key Relationship Areas: Mental, Emotional, Physical, Sexual, Spiritual, Financial and Social. Do you want someone who’s mentally and emotionally available, a man that’s 6’ tall and in good physical shape, a sexually adventurous partner, a man whose spiritual/religious beliefs are well-matched with yours, how about a man that has a high-paying job vs one that’s just getting by and do you want a man that’s compatible with your friends and family. You may think this is a given, but it’s not. When your intention is too broad, then you attract whatever the wind blows your way. It’s time to take control of the reigns.
SECRET #2: TAKE A SELF-INVENTORY
The common denominator in all your relationships is YOU! Not everything which happened was his fault or yours, but the only thing you can control is “yourself”. Take a self-inventory of any repetitive toxic patterns that occurred, either by yourself or your past partners. What behaviors and patterns seemed to follow you from one relationship to another? Were you too timid, aggressive, had low self-esteem, no confidence, too dependent, etc. This can be challenging because no one wants to hear anything closely resembling a negative quality about themselves, but if you want to have a successful relationship, you’ll have to take a look in the mirror. And News Flash…No one is perfect! We all have some boogie man held up in the closet, but its presence is preventing you from attracting or being in the relationship you want. By authentically addressing these challenging beliefs and qualities, it puts you a step closer to your true desire…a fulfilling and yummy relationship that brings you joy.
SECRET #3: MAGNIFY YOUR ATTRACTION MAGNET
By taking a self-inventory, you can now plant your attraction magnet in fertile soil. In order to produce a bountiful harvest, the farmer has to uproot the soil so the seeds and roots have room to spread and grow. A crop can’t grow in soil that’s hard and compact. This is the same for amplifying your attraction magnet. Perpetuating self-defeating thoughts hardens your heart and repels your desire. So now that you’ve “Tilled” your emotional and mental soil, you can boost your attraction magnet by:
- Make room for a new lover. One of the best ways to do this is by not obsessing over a past love. Don’t let an old lover take up “free rent” in your mind and heart; it’s time to serve him an “eviction notice”, so your new love has a place to call home.
- Create a vision board. Put into pictures the type of man and relationship you desire to have. The pictures produce good feelings and these good feelings amplify your “man magnet”.
- Symbols of love. If you want to get married, buy a cubic zirconia engagement ring. Having symbols of your desire kicks your attraction meter into high gear. It may sound silly, but it works.