Darling, being a Relationship Coach, you would assume I have love on my mind on a consistent basis, but that isn’t necessarily true. Last year, my mind was laser-focused on getting my life on stable ground. After 18 months of being on the road, I finally moved into my house.
When I was a nomad, romance came knocking on my door, but there was a BIG BUT! A big BUT that required me to turn off my ‘dating antenna’. I closed down my ‘romance frequency’ because I was attracting men who were in transition, and that’s not what I wanted. As I teach my clients and students, with the Law of Attraction, you attract what you habitually think, and feel but you also attract ‘who YOU ARE’. I was attracting nomads, because I was a nomad as well. That’s the Law of Attraction in its simplest way.
Once I was in my home, and finally sleeping in my own bed, I decided it was time to turn my romance frequency (aka Man Radar) back on. I was in the Tiny Vixen for 4 months when romance unexpectedly found me in an art gallery on a January afternoon.
Now, if you’re a lady boss like me juggling work, personal growth, and a desire for a love life that doesn’t feel like a second job, I’ve got your back. I’d love to share the three biggest lessons I’ve learned from my wild ride with a gentleman I affectionately call ‘Loverboy’—and trust me, these insights will help you too.
Lesson #1. Healing Relationships Are Like Love’s Boot Camp
It was a beautiful day in San Diego and I made plans to attend a Singles Meet-Up with a gal pal (aka my Wing Girl). However, an emergency came up and she couldn’t make it. I really wanted to go, so I went by myself. When I arrived at the art gallery, the host told me which group I would be in. It happened to be the same group as Loverboy. When I laid eyes on him, my mind was saying, “Hmmm…He’s cute. I like how he’s dressed. And, I love his shoes.” I didn’t just keep all of that in my head, I actually complimented him on his shoes…wink…wink
We clicked immediately. He treated me to lunch and gifted me a scented candle I was eyeing in the gift shop. The vibe was so yummy, people thought we were a couple. When we told them, “We just met”. The bewildered look on their faces was priceless.
When “Loverboy” strolled into my life on that fateful day, little did I know he would be a walking checklist of my past—a bizarre mashup of my two ex-husbands. Yes, you read that correctly. He has the same name and is left-handed like husband #2. On top of that, he looks like he could be the brother of hubby #1. Oh, it gets even better. Check this out, I have the same name as one of his sisters. I mean, what are the odds? At first, I thought, “Universe, are you trolling me?” But then I realized: this wasn’t a prank. It was a love lesson wrapped in a handsome package.
And, thank goodness hubby #2 and I are buddies otherwise that would be so awkward. And, when I relayed these facts to GQ & Soul Brother, the universal response was, “OMG”, with a gut-wrenching laugh.
Needless to say, I was curious to see where this Twilight Zone adventure would take me. I knew Spirit had a plan. Well…it’s turned into a cosmic rom-com, starring me, some old baggage, and Mr. Mash-Up. What kind of comedy is this? Spoiler alert: the Universe has a wicked sense of humor, and it also provided lessons. Lots of lessons.
Healing relationships are like love’s boot camp. They show you your triggers and old wounds, but instead of letting you spiral, they challenge you to face them. This is a gift. With Loverboy, I lean into any discomfort and take ownership of communicating my feelings since I’m being given the divine gift of a ‘Do Over’ —versus, letting this healing opportunity pass me by like kale at a buffet.
Relationship Tip #1: If a relationship feels like it’s testing you, it’s probably teaching you. Instead of running, ask yourself, “What am I supposed to learn from this?” Then, learn the lesson and move on.
Take Inspired Action: Grab a journal and jot down the lessons your current or past relationships have taught you. Understanding your patterns is the first step toward breaking them and leveling up your love game.
Lesson #2. Laughter and Real Talk Beat Drama Any Day
Here’s a hot take: humor is the MVP of any relationship. Case in point: Loverboy has this annoying habit of “being right,” which reminded me of my first husband. And, I was still triggered by that. So, this is what I did, instead of nagging or giving him the silent treatment, I decided to use the same tactic I successfully used on hubby #1- I keep it light with humor.
I did that by calling Loverboy, “Professor Xavier” from the X-Men, whenever he’d speak in that know-it-all tone. I would put my fingers to my temples as if I was tapping into my psychic powers since that’s what Professor X would do. And guess what? It worked. Over time, the behavior improved, and we both got a laugh out of it, especially after he told me, Magneto was more his style.
You see, effective communication doesn’t have to feel like a TED Talk. Sometimes, a little humor is all it takes to get your point across without causing World War III. This is why I teach ‘The Art of Loving Communication’. It gives me the tools to get what I want and the skills to defuse a situation.
Loverboy and I even came up with a code phrase, when we’re in public, to let him know when he was crossing a line. It’s amazing how something so simple can make a big difference. This is a powerful way to shift challenging behavior minus the drama.
Relationship Tip #2: Turn conflict into comedy. Address issues with humor instead of hostility, and watch how it transforms the vibe. For example, my first hubby talked in code, so I called him “the Riddler”. I even told him he would look amazing in green leggings because he had nice legs. To which, I got the eye-roll. But, did the behavior stop? It sure did!
Take Inspired Action: Think of a playful way to address a recurring issue in your relationship. It could be a nickname, a code phrase, or an inside joke. Start small and see how it opens the door to better communication.
Lesson #3. Trust the Universe—It Knows What It’s Doing…It’s Called, “Having Faith”
Here’s the truth: not every relationship is meant to be forever. Some are here to heal you, teach you, and prepare you for the love that’s truly meant for you. With Loverboy, I knew early on he wasn’t “the One,” but that doesn’t make the relationship any less meaningful. In fact, it has been liberating to close the door on the past. To shed past baggage is true freedom.
When you know this is happening, and you face it head on, you can feel the power of your confidence coursing through your veins. So much so, I told Loverboy, “If I meet someone else who feels like my forever, I’ll go in that direction,” and he didn’t freak out. He said, “That’s fair. I can’t hold you back from experiencing something that’s going to be meaningful to you. That would be very selfish on my part. I don’t know how I’m going to feel if that actually happens, but I can understand.”
This is what open, honest and mature conversations look and sound like. This is what I strive for in all of my relationships. It’s what I teach. And it’s a reminder that the Universe has a plan. You just have to have faith. Our job isn’t to force things to happen but to stay present, stay open, and trust that what’s meant for us will find us.
Relationship Tip #3: Don’t cling to something that doesn’t align with your long-term happiness. Rather, learn your lessons, appreciate them, and know when it’s time to move on.
Check out my podcast, “Do You Love Him or Leave Him?”
Take Inspired Action: Write down the qualities you want in your ideal partner. Be specific and bold. Then, release your list to the universe and trust that it’s working behind the scenes to bring your vision to life.
Laugh, Learn, and Let Go
Healing relationships are like a relationship detox—they clear out the old to make way for the new. They teach you to communicate better, embrace humor, and trust the timing of your love life. And the best part? They help you grow into the person who’s ready for the real deal.
So, are you ready to join me on this love experiment? Reflect on your relationships, laugh through the awkward moments, and trust the Universe has your back to deliver your happily ever after. It’s out there, and it’s waiting for you.
Take Inspired Action: Start your love experiment today. Whether it’s journaling, cracking a joke, or letting go of something that no longer serves you, take one step toward the love you deserve. Let’s do this together— share what you think below because the best is yet to come!
Stacey is a Certified Spiritual Rootworker, Relationship & Life Design Coach who has been listed on Yahoo’s Top 10 Love Coaches in the US & Canada, as well as being featured in the Business Insider. Stacey is consistently featured on ABC, CW, Fox News Radio, and iHeart Radio, to name a few.
Stacey teaches professional women how to BE charismatic feminine leaders by day and enchanting lovers at night putting them in the driver’s seat of their lives. Stacey assists her clients in designing the relationships and life of their choosing, which allows them to attract all sorts of opportunities with ease. This is what Stacey’s coaching delivers.
If you want some Vixen sparkle in your life, you can reach Stacey >> Here
Ready to Play the Leading Role in Your Love Life?
12 Questions that will Change Your Life
